Men’s Community

Do the work to be the man you are meant to be

 

Men are suffering in silence. We distract with screens, work, vaping, porn, alcohol, drugs, gaming, and many other numbing agents that keep us from feeling our pain.

Many of us experienced developmental trauma, growing up in families with addiction and codependency. We struggle to say no, aren’t taking care of ourselves, and don’t know how to really connect.   

We are disconnected from what’s going on inside, focused on the grind, being a man, and providing for our family. 

Even those of us who identify as sober or in recovery are still struggling with a bunch of addictive behaviors. We just put down that ones that were gonna kill us the fastest.

We struggle to authentically be available for our partners and  our children. They can feel we aren’t present and the numbing, lack of follow through, emotional outbursts, and suppressed pain creates an environment devoid of safety and true intimacy. 

And our significant others can feel it.  

We are disconnected from the longings of our soul.  The self-sabotaging patterns keep us in jobs we don’t like, living in survival mode, and not expressing our creativity. We don’t feel fully alive.

And let’s be clear masculinity is not toxic. Our definitions and images of true masculinity have been distorted. Being angry, violent, devoid of emotion, womanizing, and not in control of one’s emotions is not masculinity. 

Masculinity and femininity are universal energies and inherent to creation. Each man or woman has both masculine and feminine energy. If femininity is the flowing river, masculinity is the oak tree. It is the river bank providing structure so the river can flow.

Masculinity is grounded and clear in its direction. It is aware, consistent, and balanced. A man can not have awareness and direction if he can not feel due to being numb, distracted, and full of unresolved trauma. He can not provide the safety and structure needed for his partner and little ones to relax into their loving, playful natures when he is disconnected from himself. 

Men have lost tribe, brotherhood, ritual, and sacred purpose. For many men this never was, or was lost after high school sports. Many men find this in the military, police force or first responder positions such as firefighting or EMS. 

These brave warriors are being traumatized by a system that doesn’t give a shit about their well-being. They give their body, mind, and soul to a system that uses them up and spits them out.  These men are given very little other than ineffective referrals to a sick care system-  in order to get over-medicated, addicted, and stripped of their identities. 

But it’s not all bad. Because men are waking up. New solutions are emerging, or more like we are remembering our true nature.

We understand that post traumatic stress is not a disorder that needs to be medicated for life, but rather a natural response to unnatural threats to the nervous system. And when the obstacles are removed, and the man is supported with the environment and tools to heal, he does. 

Our awareness is growing that the pain from adverse childhood experiences still lives inside us today. We are recognizing that antidepressants and talking about the issues of the day aren’t moving the needle.

What is moving the needle are the modalities that access the subconscious mind/soul. Sacred plant medicines, psychedelics, and authentic connection allow us to access and unburden the soul. This is happening now.

Spiritual experience, connection, sleep, diet, movement, and play are the tools helping us to re-embody the man we were meant to be.  

We are feeling the call to reconnect with our soul and create tribe. To do hard things. To jump in cold water. To say what is true. To feel everything. To move and feel healthy in the body. To stand in our power and say NO to our addictions and to the forces that benefit from a sick, weak, dis-empowered society of men.

Sacred Self Collective offers a space for men who are doing the great work of connecting with their soul to come together- for support, accountability and fellowship.